"ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn)
12/11/2013 at 16:27 • Filed to: introductions
1
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"ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn)
12/11/2013 at 16:27 • Filed to: introductions | 1
| 4 |
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have
been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them
more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs
for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time
efficiently.
Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot
bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook
Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a
veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly
defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious
army ants.
I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of
numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build suspension bridges in my
yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair
electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.
Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I
don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have
been caller 'number nine' and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I
toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I
bat .400.
My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I
once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day
and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I
know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have
performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week;
when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I
successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a
small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On
weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years
ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I
have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a
toaster oven.
I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan,
cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the
Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I
have spoken with Elvis.
But I have not yet gone to college.
David E. Davis
> ttyymmnn
12/11/2013 at 16:30 |
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Hi Hugh Gallagher, Nibbles ate your face.
RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
> ttyymmnn
12/11/2013 at 16:30 |
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Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants.
When I'm bored, I build suspension bridges in my yard.
SR20.
Anon
> ttyymmnn
12/11/2013 at 17:09 |
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And here I was thinking I was hot shit for understanding the ending to Evangelion.
pdthedeuce
> ttyymmnn
12/11/2013 at 20:00 |
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well played .